“Just because someone's pretty doesn't mean she's decent. Or vice versa. I'm not into appearances. I like flaws, I think they make things interesting.”
― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
What do you think of when you hear the term “boudoir”? Intimate photos? Lingerie? Another fancy French word? A lady’s private bedroom (the actual meaning)? There are numerous answers to this question, but very few come close to what it means for photographers.
Back in the 1980’s, my mom (and yours, most likely) had what was called “Glamour Shots”. She got all dolled up with fantastic blue eyeshadow and puffed up bangs and fancy outfits and had her photos taken. I thought these were the best things ever. The most beautiful images in the world, until I was like 13 and realized that no, that wasn't actually my mom in those photos. She didn't wear a rhinestoned cowboy hat with blue eyeshadow… so who was I looking at? I was looking at the woman my mom thought she should be, the same as every other woman who had these images taken. They were, essentially, playing dress up and having their photographs taken, pretending to be someone else. I could never understand what was so wrong with just being yourself, but hey, I was only 13.
As a mom now myself, I look in the mirror and wish I could play dress up, too. Put on pretty clothes and have someone magically erase all of my flaws with makeup and retouching and make me look like I did 15 years ago. But it would be fake, and in the end I know it would only hurt my self esteem ever more than my stretch marks already do.
This is why I began my dive into boudoir photography, to show women, real women, how beautiful they are. But wait, I know you’re wondering now what the hell boudoir is, if it isn’t getting dressed up and feeling pretty….? Boudoir is more than just pretty pictures. Boudoir is empowerment. Read that again… Boudoir. Is. Empowerment.
Every woman, every mother, daughter, grandmother deserves to feel fabulous and powerful and epic and that is what boudoir is meant to accomplish. Sure, the experience results in some sexy images to show off, but the actual experience is what is so freeing. A day to be free of commitments to others, to embrace being a woman instead of all of our other titles (wife, mother, etc…) and simply explore our own self is something that every woman deserves. You will laugh, feel like a complete idiot at some points “because really, how can this pose look sexy?” but in the end, you will see yourself as others see you and as you deserve to be seen, one powerful fucking woman.
So, yes, boudoir photography results in some pretty pictures but it is SO MUCH MORE than that! It is empowerment, self-love, and realizing your strength as a woman. So the next time someone posts some boudoir images, realize the depth of their power, and comment on how amazing they truly are as a woman!